it's time

Clearly, I don't mean the baby...a bit early yet, don't you think?

I am referring to our move which will take place in July. I'm not certain if that will be early, mid or late July. But, it will be July.

And I'm feeling down. Not because we're moving - that part I've been waiting for and expecting for months now. I'm down because I'm in the first trimester ickies with roughly 6 weeks to purge, pack and move. I'm down because we no longer know where the Lord wants us to move. The little town we were all set to land in no longer gives us a clear sense. This is in part because my husband's job is shifting...not location, but there are currently negotiations for a different title and different salary - at a different company with some of the same owners. Instead of residential and commercial work, they'd be doing government work. It's a different revenue that has some promise, but those details have not been ironed out. We expect longer hours which means a shorter commute would be safer and better all around. All of which affects the house we end up in. See the vicious circle?

I want to draw closer and listen my Lord. I long for His peace and clarity....I know He has answers and I know He'll show us what and where, I'm just trying not to panic while I wait.

In the meantime, anyone want to come pack with me? Sigh....

**edited to add: I should tell you that I trust fully in the timing He has chosen - in fact, today as I was driving home from the library, I told the Lord that I really just didn't think I would have it in me to move during my 3rd trimester. I then checked my mail before pulling into the driveway and discovered a notice written last week about the pending move. The Lord answered my need even before I could utter it. . .

I don't have much to say, so I'll tell you about my days...

I have the all-day sickies almost all day every day. I do eat - sometimes more, sometimes less, and I feel crummy more than not. All that increased body fluid (going down one's throat in particular) drastically adds to the nausea and general crumminess.

The hormones are getting stronger, the sleepiness is ever present. I want to throw a tantrum when my children can't be nice to each other or to me. I called my mommy crying not once but twice today. I could lay on my couch and stay tired all day - wait, my life at least partially resembles that anyway. I'm feeding the kids (resenting the food as I do it), I'm filling them up with television, I'm clothing them (most days), and I'm schooling the one that must be schooled. But it's been an uphill battle recently. Which is not helping.

My amazing hubby was off for 3 days last week. I slept in, I dozed, I rested and I took naps. He fed kids, did dishes, diapered the toddler, did dishes, was nice to me, and fell asleep early every night. Oh yeah, he also did dishes. He was happy to get back to the office yesterday.

We took a field trip to our local aquarium one of those days with some specially priced tickets (and I left the camera at home because I rock like that). I should have known better. It ended horribly....bad, bad end to a day packed wall to wall with inner city field trip kids and lots of loud noise, and a mommy who felt....pregnant with a migraine.

On a slightly lighter note, yesterday I had an OB visit - specifically paperwork and blood work. Yes, the lady had to stick me THREE times to get blood and I could barely hear the doc over the chatter of my oldest who would N O T stop being silly with his sister no matter how many times I asked - it clearly did not process for him much to my frustration. However, both of them were absolutely thrilled - and jealous - when they discovered I get to pee in a cup every visit! "Not fair," says Little B. He will never, ever in his lifetime know just how not fair it is to be required to pee into a cup when you cannot see and can barely reach around an over-stretched belly filled with a full term baby. . .but, hey, let them be jealous. It's good for them.

end of an era

Please pardon my general absence - the exhaustion of this pregnancy is overwhelming right now!

I wanted to share with you the reason we took our kids to celebrate today. First, I admit I took them to Brewster's for "ice cream" at 5pm (for the dairy-free kids, read: Italian Ice; for the wheat-free people, read: in a cup...no, nothing in our lives is simple). I was secretly hoping they would eat a light dinner, but they were hungry almost immediately. And I've put them off indefinitely. haha!

So, the reason?? Miss C's results from the final evaluation on her arm arrived in the mail this week. She is completely age-appropriate in all aspects of using her arm and it is strong and there is no further work needed for her! We're encouraged to remember to keep it strong, but there is no shortage found and we are full of delight and thanksgiving on her behalf! We're thankful the Lord saw fit to heal her arm so completely. I have one joyfully happy little girl who very proudly enjoyed her treat tonight.

And I feel we have reached the end of a long journey this week.

unexpected joy

Very recently God showed me in an unexpected way that my heart was aligned with His. At first, He told me in a quiet, still voice that this was on his heart, and I wasn't sure how to take it or what to make of it. But I am thankful I never had make any decisions - He had His own timing and simply took care of the details without my knowing. Sometimes it's easiest that way.

I posted about what was on my heart fairly recently, though I just realized it published with the earlier draft date, so some of you may have missed it . . . you will find more here. I can assure you, my heart is overflowing with joy right now!

pathology report

I've been miserably sick with a nasty cold and probably sinus infection, therefore I'm not thinking clearly this week. But, I promised you an update of my pathology report when the stitches came out (um...two days ago). So, here it is:

They removed all the pre-cancer cells and everything is clear! Thank you Lord!